Yesterday, December 7, 2015…

My fellow Americans,

Yesterday, December 7, 2015, there was a terrorist attack at the naval base at Pearl Harbor. We condemn this attack in the strongest possible terms.

Once again we’ve seen an outrageous attempt to terrorize innocent people. This is an attack not just on Pearl Harbor, it’s an attack not just on the people of Hawaii, but this is an attack on all of humanity and the universal values that we share.

Now, folks, we’re going to rise above fear. We will not give in to Japanophobia. Japan is an empire of peace. Yesterday’s attacks were carried out by an extremist group that does not represent Japanese values.

In response to this attack, I have told the UN that we will be welcoming up to 250,000 Japanese into the US in the next two years. Their suffering is our suffering. We have to take our fair share. It is the American way. We will pay to fly them into the country and give each one of them $925 in Welcoming Money. We will place them on a fast track for citizenship and full participation in our democracy.

Later today, I will be issuing an executive order to open our borders. The Border Patrol will stand down. We cannot allow any further discrimination. We must help thousands of innocent Japanese children who have made their way to our southern border and are stranded there. I will be meeting with Japanese Lives Matter organizers at the White House to further a strategy of anti-police propaganda to foment unrest among our least literate and most easily excitable populations. I am calling on Congress to close loopholes in our nation’s gun laws, and am appointing a task force to draw up a gun buyback program similar to Australia’s. We will do whatever it takes to make our country safe while remaining true to our values. We will never permit a backlash against Japan.

Today, I am calling on all of us to unite. I have ordered that red, white, and blue lights be shined on the White House. Please light candles and place flowers and teddy bears outside the Navy Department building.

We will fundamentally transform this country. We will never give in to fear.


One thought on “Yesterday, December 7, 2015…

  1. Pingback: Yesterday, December 7, 2015… | Reaction Times

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